Hard Times

I am having a really hard time getting out of the 217-221lbs zone, last week I exercised my butt off, I did 2 zumba sessions everyday except for friday and today.  It makes me a little frustrated that the numbers are not dropping like they did when I first started exercising which makes me think that I really need to get organized plan out my workouts and change them up, I may be down in lbs but I think I'm still flabbier than I was when I weighed this much the last time.  Gotta keep on going.

Blue Dress Revisted

                                                 AFTER                              BEFORE

First pic is the after pic Oct 21, 2nd pic is from Jun 2, you can see a small difference but of course the difference seems almost unnoticeable because they were not taken from the same distance.  I had to enlarge one of the pictures to match the other just to be a little more accurate.  Can you tell the difference?

I know this is kinda lame but I wore the same dress I wore to my sisters wedding in June to my friends wedding this month.  When I put it on it felt like it fit perfectly, making me remember that most likely it was a little on the small side for me back in June.  I really didn't start watching my diet and exercising till the end of August but since I have two pictures to compare I thought I'd post it.  So here it is.  In June I was sitting at 239-242lbs, and in the more recent pictures I am sitting at 217-221lbs.  Also, you can see that my son is a lot bigger.

Early weigh in

Tuesday October 18 2011

Today I am weighing in at 219 lbs it is about 4 lbs above where I should be right now but I'm satisfied that I am in the two hundred teens, I don't think there is any looking back.  Almost two full months have passed and even though I've messed up a couple of times(last week) I didn't fall far enough just to stop caring so Sunday night I made it my goal to do EMZ every early morning just so that in case I can't make it to a night class I have that 45 minutes of exercise in the morning over with and done.  Yesterday I started tracking a few things on a calendar that I have hanging by the fridge-there are just 4 days till my friends wedding and sadly I am still 10 lbs over my goal weight for the wedding.  I've made a new goal of November 11th the day of my Zumba training to pass 209lbs.  I should make a definite goal and that would be 205lbs but if I can get to 209lbs I will be happy.  Ultimately my goal is to get to 195 lbs by Dec 13th and that is 14lbs in two months, I'm pretty sure I can get there and wow, it will be so awesome when I arrive.  I'm excited just thinking about it.
I really want to be healthy I think this whole endeavor seems to be just me wanting to be the skinniest I can be but to tell you the truth I don't want to spend all this time losing weight only to gain in back in the next year, I want to maintain my health through exercise and healthy eating and activities that motivate me to be a healthier me.  There is no reason why this trend of unhealthiness should continue in my family and there are soo many reasons why being healthy is the way to go.

Anyhow, yesterday I went to Zumba in the morning and Zumba at night, oh I struggled in the night class but it was a lot of fun!  This morning I went to EMZ and had a blast but in the mornings its like I have to force my body to get moving and then its still in sleepy, creaky mode.  Tonight I will go to zumba if I can or I will stay home and do :20 second fitness, either way I'll be getting enough exercise for the day.

Four day splurge

It all started on Friday-what a hectic day, I was preparing, cooking etc. for a birthday party, my husband was trying to work, and get somethings done on the house, I was trying to multi-task and keep everyone fed and happy and I was aiming to get my one hour of exercise.  Did the exercise happen?  No it didn't.  In fact saturday was worst than Friday, 8 am I was cooking and preparing things, my husband was tearing down our downstairs bedroom with some helpers, outside some contractors were wheeling in barrels of concrete, I was again trying to keep everyone fed myself included, cook, and prepare our things to leave for the birthday party.  Not only did I not exercise I decided to eat...and eat... and eat,

kalua pig, salad, candy, cupcakes, and even drink soda; and food has a really negative affect on me because I start to feel like there is no redeeming myself from the self-destructive path of eating with out end, so I get depressed and eat more-which is what happened this weekend.  The destruction didn't finish with Saturday but continued through Sunday and Monday.  Monday I was at the lowest low, I didn't even care if I went to Zumba or not and I wanted to sleep all day after eating about 10 mini snickers, 8 mini kit kat bars and having two servings at each meal.  I woke up this morning feeling like I better get myself on track.  I also thought about how I just broke down mentally and did not care whether I was destroying everything i worked for for the past 2 mo.  Wow, I even felt like my exercise goals were stupid.  The only way I will be able to get back on track is if I have a good work out tonight, which I'm planning on doing, I will not let anyone/anything stop me from getting out to exercise tonight.  I'll let you know how I'm feeling after.

Short and Sour Food Log 10/6/2011

egg burrito
3 big bowls cereal cornflakes and some time of honey cereal, w/ 2% milk
couple small candies
2 cheese quesadillas
1/2 a banana
plenty water.
i'm pretty sure I ate more I just can't remember

Winter...

I HATE the way I'm feeling right now, it was a rainy and overcast day, all day and I think it put me in a bad mood, so bad that I felt like eating and eating and eating just to make me feel better.  It did make me feel better for a little bit then I had to eat more to keep up that feeling.  Anyhow, the only way to break out of that cycle was to get some good exercise.  I bundled up and went to Zumba!! It felt so good to be moving, dancing, jumping, bumping.  I can live with my overeating today and continue doing the things that my body needs like getting healthy.   

YESTERDAY I weighed in at 220.8, today after all the eating and my Zumba sesh I am just at 221.6, I know your weight depends a lot on fluid retention, and muscle weight but when I see that the numbers are not jumping it makes me remember the hard work it took to get here, and the very good possibility that I will be able to lose more.  So I re-commit AGAIN!  My friends wedding is coming up in 2 weeks and it is very possible that I can get to 215lbs, 209 is a stretch(that's how I personally feel, otherwise I would say I could make 209 and just disappoint myself).  I will aim for 215 and if I lose more than that more POWER to me!!  We'll see!

I'm thinking about all the energy and time I am putting into losing weight/getting healthy, I really want this, and I want it for many different reasons.  One of them being just looking/feeling good, and the other is accomplishing something for myself, something that I've tried and tried my whole life but have never been able to do.  Once I accomplish this(getting to my optimum health) I  know I will be able to do anything/everything, I will be able to accomplish anything I put my mind to.  I read a self-help blog today and the guy was talking about time and how for entrepreneurs time is money, for those who don't have their own businesses, time is equity.  When we use time to improve our skills ourselves we build equity in ourselves and become a better more well-rounded person.  This is important because people tend to make excuses for why they can't do certain things when they don't put the time into themselves to learn these things, instead we spend our time watching T.V(this was his main example) wishing that we were super stars or coveting what those people have.  I myself always feel like I'm not good at really anything but the truth is I have not invested time in improving myself, in increasing my equity, and I am the number one complainer about this and the number one couch potato.  Anyhow, the article made me evaluate what I really want and I really need to make a plan so that I can accomplish many things.  Getting fit goes right along with building equity in myself, once I accomplish this I will have provided myself with the confidence to do more.

Lastly, STEVE JOBS the creator of Apple computers died a couple of days ago, rest in peace, and he talked about death being a motivator in the things that he did.  I would try to summarize what he said but its better to just quote him. 

"Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

 I love this quote because  we just don't value our time(me especially), then our fears and silly things hold us back from reaching our true potential, if we thought about today being our last what would we do?  Anyhow, I'm pondering over this and I already know what I need to do.  Anyhow,  the world is at my hands, I have the ability to do many things, and I should do them.

My thoughts on the journey thus far...

It's been five weeks and a half since I decided that i was going to get healthy, lose weight, and accomplish goals that I had thought about before but never got to.  I am proud of myself for where I am right now.  I started at 239 lbs and now I am hovering at 223-224lbs, but its not just the weight that I'm happy about.  When I look in the mirror I'm actually happy with what I see, I see my persistence and hard work coming through in that I look smaller, I feel stronger, I have more energy, and I in general feel like doing more things and getting out.  I know that at any time I might break down and not exercise or stuff my face but when I think about the goals that I have set it brings everything into perspective and I get back on course.  This is the biggest difference between now and the previous quests to lose weight that I have done, I know now that even if I mess up I will continue to GO, and as long as I keep on going I'll get there, maybe not as fast but I'll still get there. 
Right now I have been sitting at this weight for about 2 weeks so I have obviously hit a plateau, this week I will really try get below 220lbs because its right around the corner and I know that I can do it.  I know that once I accomplish my fitness goals it will be a stepping stone to accomplishing other goals that I've had but didn't have the will to do.

Saturday October 1 2011 WorkOUT!!

I missed Zumba this morning but I think it was a good thing because I went to Hip Hop and Jazz dance instead.  I really love to dance but its hard for me to loosen up when I'm unsure of the steps and because I obviously don't dance Hip Hop or Jazz very well, but, I'm glad I went because I got a decent workout and I was learning the basics of dance which will in the end help me with some of my fitness goals. 
Today I didn't eat very well but I didn't indulge so I decided to go for a jog.  I put my ipod on and I was buzzing, I felt just great getting out of the house.  For me running/jogging is hard I don't have that endurance yet that I need to run the whole way or to feel comfortable running its quite a chore, but I think if I keep it up it will get better, also, I'm worried about getting shin splints so it makes me less inclined to run.  But I did go and I think I ran about 1.2 miles in 25 minutes, I walked twice but for the most part I ran the whole way, yes, I'm still very slow. 

Sunday October 2 2011 Food Log

Breakfast-burrito, one tortilla, 1 egg, 1/3 c. sliced potatoes, 1 tbs black beans, 1/3 c cheese, 2 tbs light sour cream, 2 tbs salsa, 1/4 c sliced breakfast sausage.

Lunch: Burrito same as above

Snack: 1/2 grapefruit,salad-lettuce, cucumbers, olives, cheese, 1tbs italian, bacon bits(imitation)

Dinner:1 big baked chicken thigh, 1 c of potatoes, celery, and carrots baked, slice of chocolate cake, shave ice w/ 1 c vanilla icecream


My weekends have been horrible I have been eating all day and eating anything I like but today I think I did a little bit better.  I ate more chocolate cake than I should have but I don't think I over did it.  As far as the burritos the tortillas and cheese I think are killing my diet.  I will work on that.